Sorry Tokes - Here it is - Better late than never

The Pre Diggers 40th Babble

You asked for it so here it is!!! After a bit of a babble break, the Baby is back and bursting at
the seams&..
I would hate to be the reason that Percy wasnt angry on Saturday but Im sure the shit-house
weather has been doing a good enough job keeping him on the boil! It has been a while and for
some its probably been a nice wee break, Raggs, but for others Ive heard the calls and though
best I stop swinging round on my chair and actually put finger to keyboard.. I guess for me
the final straw was yesterday when Smallcock volunteered to write something and post it as a
babble. What, what, what? Im sure Ive mentioned this before but I wouldnt trust that guy to
sit the right way on a toilet seat! The only reason he has managed to breed is because someone
started sleeping on her back and he didnt notice&.
So, what a season its turned out to be! Shark-mania is at fever pitch and sometimes I think
Ive wandered into the Div 1 changing room with the way we are playing code. This was best
shown a couple of weeks ago when we played the Wankers on what I think was a rugby field,
well there was one somewhere under the foot of mud! There was free running and passes all
over the show while the Wankers/Shirley Colts2 wanted to kick for position& What a great
game to watch and be part of! Quite a lot of humour as well with the ref joining the I hate the
sound of Dannys voice club. At least he didnt punch or elbow you in the face.
In weeks previous we had a heart breaker against The Munchers once again under mud and
Im told a great win over the Keiths. I wouldnt know aye Loads&. I nominate you for Dick
of the year but must nominate myself also for believing you actually meant 10mins&. From
what I did see of that game, it was carnage a plenty thought. Junior popping his shoulder
but being too busy to go get it fixed (triple hard but how did you light your smokes without
spilling your beer that night&) and Big Daws rupturing a tendon in his ring finger (didnt
stop him putting one on his missus though&. Dear oh dear, another man down), I would
liken this to most of us rupturing a hammy as Dawsons finger is like an average mans leg!
What else? Oh so much to tell& The Fiddlers sent packing TWICE in the season, oh happy
days! Back to your container lads, see you next year!
This weekend sees us taking on the Bollocks and then a chilly bin of piss in the changing shed
reminiscent of last year when the old Sherriff retired. Yeah yeah I know hes played again but
he hasnt made a true comeback until hes foot tripped someone&. Lets go hard and get a
bonus point for a home semi lads then get DRUNK!
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarks
Cheers
Baby!

 

Post W**kers Babble. 

Welcome to another week of the wide world of baby.  What a weekend weve just had!  After the disappointment of losing the shield after a one week tenure we had to lift our heads and games to meet a Shirley unit that has been improving every week.  Well of course theyre improving I can hear you say, all of them bar 4 are still going through puberty!  They are finding new skills they need in life (in Shirley this is generally drifting a 1992 Nissan Skyline), they find their voice changing (a lot more use of profanity) and they start shaving (shaving seconds off how long it takes to jack a Subaru)! 

Never the less, they all got permission from their parents to catch the bus out to play the Sharks at the Lazza on Presidents day!  I bet theyre wishing now that theyd stayed at home!!!  Woo Hoo lads, what a great comeback and win!  The Baby started for the first time this year and not because hes hit form and fitness has returned, oh no, it was because there was free piss on offer and thats music to my ears!  The first half was tight and physical and Im pretty sure the Ws were actually using strapping tape to join 2 of their younguns together to form one bigger one!  At half time we were looking good and the donkey call was pretty much the only thing the Ws had to build on but as the second half took shape and Danny decided to do a quick tap off his knee 1metre from our line (I know, how many acts of wrongness were just committed in that one sentence?) and gave the Shirley boys a chance to get back in the match! 

After some great rucking and some big hits, the ref finally limped off the field and the Sharks hit back!  So much was built up about Serious grandson coming on and what should we call him that when he did come on he dazzled everyone with blistering pace.  I think Danny has some cream for anyone that is having problems with those blisters that just wont heal&.. 

The whistle went, the donkey calls disappeared and the stars were aligned again with another Shark win!  With a couple of weeks to go were in with a shot at the pennant&  We have a few Sharks back as well:

• Kevvy Body tried to reject bionic arm but Kevvy fixed it with some no more nails.
• Mo Spinal injury from giving team a wind up and excessive finger pointing!
• Mr T Tour of Australia, mention of swimwear modelling&
• Moose Pie eating contest in Auckland.
• Kylie Cycling accident, landed on a pole (get it Poland&)
• Jizz Spider bite, to be explored further in the next paragraph.

 

Back to this spider bite.  As most know, Dawg and Jizz are neighbours and here they are both with bites.  Dawgs on his upper thigh and Jizzs on the back of his knee.  Dawg is a bit taller that Jizz and anatomically if they were spooning and a spider was present it could bite both spots without even moving!  Coincidence?  I think not.  Gay?  Most probably!  Speaking of Gay boys, nice work on the pink socks Kelpy, and Donny what were you thinking moisturising in the changing rooms? 

Two more games to go in the round, The Loopin Snoopers and the Bollocks, the Eastside Darby you might say.  Others might say strap on your protective gear derby, I say strap down your belongings otherwise they wont be there when you get back! 

Keep your fins erect Sharks and if youre driving through Sumner and you see an ostrich, dont stop!  Wind your windows up and lock your doors, hes not friendly! 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarks!

18-5-10  Babys Babble for May. 

Crikey!  What a rollercoaster two weeks in Sharkland&.  First we win a battle of mammoth proportions to overcome the Munchers and grab the Challenge Cup only to give it away again a week later!  Shit, its like when Southland won the shield in nineteen fifty something or other& 

It all started on a fine Saturday before the mist and the Munchers rolled into Sumner and onto the Lazza.  It was everything a top of the table clash should be with a nail biter finish&  We always knew Dannys kicking was the difference in many games we have contested so closely but this time we came out on the winning side of the ledger!  Whod have thunk it!  Again I was wandering up and down the sideline with many a classic call coming to mind and then being hurled at someone but also again, booze has been a contributing factor in me not being able to remember them now!!!  I will never forget the pre game call or should I say bad call when the lovely young female ref asked who the captain was&  Our fearless leader quickly replied with no, I was not looking at your tits ref!  Nice touch Small! 

What a fine day with the shield held high by Digger (on a chair of course) at the end of it! 

So, it was fair to say we all headed into the Sydenham game with our heads up and full of confidence that we would indeed retain the shield and continue on our unbeaten way.  So much so, as I weaved drunkenly to the bar on Friday night at the Crusaders game I saw Percy followed closely by Keith and Smallcock (wearing a womans shirt).  Then later that night seeing Dawg in Poplar Lane (that spider bite swelled his whole body&).  End result, sore heads and broken wills and it showed on the field and the Saracens took an early lead.  I dont want to delve further into this game with the only highlight being a late try to the Baby.  Not as late as last year when it took the final minutes of the last game to sloth my way into the in goal while the ref was watching.  And no Greg you didnt score it!  Junior may not have been in the winning side but I think the judges scored it two nice punches to none and yes Junior you were definitely fighting up about nine weight grades so nice work! 

This week promises to be a beauty with the Wankers coming out to The Lazza and free sauce after the game.  Lets kick Presidents day off like a dead lepers head lads and get back to our winning ways!  See you Saturday with your drinking shoes on! 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarks!

5-5-10   The Dooley Babble.

 

Well, men&.  Its now Wednesday and Ive finally calmed down enough to sit at the keyboard and type about the weekend without going completely mental again and running around the office high fiving anyone unlucky enough to be close to me!

 

What a game and what a win!  The Mighty Shark Corporation notching yet another win over our arch nemesis the KFs!!!  The game saw a complete performance from our squad with rugged forward play and our backs running freely and bumping tackles at will.  Puppy was so fired up he bumped off the entire KF team and wasnt content at that so continued to steam-roll Barry Irish.  Bad form Puppy to be sure, to be sure!

 

Speaking of Barry Irish&  This man has played for us on and off now for a few years, moved home to Ireland and coming back again.  He has Steve Austins bionic knees and most doctors would say he shouldnt be playing.  Yet we see him every weekend possible out there giving his all on the field, enjoying a laugh and having a beer.  No one could question that this man is truly a Shark&  But is he????  Barry had a wee bain in the weekend and it was a boy!  This is most unusual as most who have been allowed to breed have spawned girls.  Well done Barry, we may yet field a team in 2040, Serious will still be there!

 

Back to Saturday&  Having been a sideline member for most of this year has had me in fits of laughter with the calls from the spectators and as often as I have asked Puppy to take notes for me, he has said it would hamper his game.  Saturday saw some gems come out.  Some quite witty like when Jizz tackled a Marist player and Biff shouted hey youve got Jizz all over you!, some not so witty like when Blissy pulled out youre all gay!.  Really Blissy, dont the cell mates come up with anything better or are the pillows too fluffy and obstructing your hearing when your face down in a cell?

 

All in all, Marist got owned and Pieman was gracious in defeat.  I know they say that depression leads to eating but when youre hung over on a Sunday and there are no pies in the greater Christchurch area   its getting a bit much mate&..  Theres always round 2&

 

This weekend sees us play unbeaten Belfast for the Challenge Shield.  I disguised myself as a freezing worker and went to the Belfast Pub on Sunday to get the inside word.  Turns out they were all at a training camp and not drinking.  That sort of form will get them nowhere!  Come on men, lets cement top of the table and have a win at The Laz!

 

See you all Saturday!  Game on men, lets get it done!

 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarks!

 

P.S. I hear there is a massive gig coming later in the year&  Its all the talk this week.  Roll on July 31!

29-4-2010
Round Two and Three Babble.
 

O.T.  Oh Dear&..

 

As I parked up on Bower Ave wondering if my car would be there when I got back, I thought to myself what a cracker day!  The sort of day youd expect to watch a game of cricket or tennis but no, its rugby season people!

 

Obviously OT shared my thoughts as they put in some big shots of their own into our boys&.  By half time we had some battered and beaten lads but we also had a healthy lead so everyone was pretty upbeat!  Serious even dusted off his boots for the second half and joined in on the thuggery by head-butting Kune (good to have you back, see you in 3 weeks!) and knocking him silly, I mean sillier!  The lads kept dropping and the tries kept coming, Nick with 4 tries&.  Thats gotta be a shout!!!

 

End result&  A freakin blowout!  Even the ref couldnt keep track of the score!  I hope the OT boys can keep a team together for our sake, games like that are great for keeping the tries flowing!  Lets leave it at that as to be honest, Im scared they may have my address and if I take the piss too much I may disappear& 

 

The following week was a bit of a mystery game&.  Christchurch B has changed to Christchurch C this year.  What does this mean?  Have they gone up a cup size&.  I think Moose has after seeing him with his jersey off yet again, come on the cold weather!!!!  Maybe it means that their grades have slipped but whatever it means we needed to turn up prepared on Saturday&  Prepared to play and then prepared to drink heaps afterward!  Turned out a great game to watch but whats happening to our backs?  They are dropping like flies&.  Once again the mighty Sharks stormed home after breaking the fat guy at second five repeatedly!  Not you Fairy, the Christchurch second five&

 

Lets talk about points&.  Lets talk about the table&.  Lets talk about being top of the table&.  This has nothing to do with the absent Table our former winger turned Sydenham Car Parts expert!  The mighty Sharks, back at the top of the table!  It feels pretty good and think about all the others who havent even seen the top of the table like Raggs&.  Oh sure, if he stands on tippy toes on a chair he might!

 

This weekend brings back the rivalry, the confrontation and the fiddler calls!  The Baby is even dusting off his boots and warming the bench for the first time this year for it.  Would I call myself a super-sub?  No!  More like a super-slob but ready for action none the less!  See you in the last 20 Pieman!  What am I saying, like hell make it through the first 60!!!

 

Game on men, lets get it done!

 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarks!

April 12 Babble

 

Well were back in the thick of it boys and girls.  We kicked off the season with a bang on Saturday but first things first, lets cast our minds back before Easter&.

 

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday at Shark Park and Diamond Harbour showed up looking young, fit and enthusiastic.  The Sharks turned up looking old, hung over and battered like a moth around the porch light you left on all night after staggering home from the pub at 3am with a pie in one hand and KFC in the other. 
As I stood on the sideline feeling like a sumo wrestler had done his business in my mouth which had everything to do with the beer and bourbon Id attempted to drown myself internally with the night before, I thought to myself god its great being injured!

 

The game was a great spectacle to watch with all the makings of a cliff-hanger ending in the mix.  After our first try when no tee was taken out and Danny attempted the conversion with a droppy, I thought could this be a carbon copy of last year?  But no, it went over.   No shit I hear you say&.  No one was more surprised than me rest assured.  The sharks pre season training really showed through with Mr I am retiring but thank heavens he didnt T turning the game and putting us in front.  By the time Puppy crossed while his missus was hurling in the public toilet (dont worry Puppy, I saw it..)  it was all she wrote for the boys from over the hill!  End result, we won!  By how much?  I couldnt tell you but it was plenty&.

 

Easter came and went with blue skies and tube luxin a plenty and my head stopped throbbing just in time to get on it Friday night before round one kicked off Saturday just been.  This is beginning to sound more like Babys journals but thats catch up babble for you.  So once again as I nursed my jelly knee and rotten hang over, the boys went to battle with our old foes Keith.  Settle down Digger, The Keiths.  Whats this?  No props&.  How can this once mighty team not field a front row?  Surely there are some pie eaters in the wings for you guys!  So with depowered scrums, which are like beer with 1% alcohol, we went to work.  It was champagne rugby, forwards running, passes, tries and yes once again, Danny with a freakin droppy.  Highlight for me&  Not being sick on myself on the sideline!  Close second, seeing a front rower run 60m to score under the sticks!!!!  Droppy conversion however left out to sea like his dive gear&.  Final result 32-12, oh thats gravy!

 

A fair chunk of us headed down to the club afterwards and helped Dawg drink his birthday shout and heckle anyone that came close!  Oh its great being a Shark!  Great form all round with our new recruit Dawson (yes Danny, he is big&) and last years Rookie Moose eating 3 pies and hatchin piss like theyve been Sharks for ever.  Puppy did eat 4 pies though lads, if that doesnt make hair grow on his chest nothing will&..

 

So thats it!  What a brilliant start to 2010, the year of the Shark (well it is now) and top 4 here we come!   OT this week so strap on your shin pads and lets get it done!

 

Hey Raggs, I thought Id give you a week off as putting a picture of the Easter bunny up and calling it you was way too predictable!

 

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarks!

 

P.S.  Hard Licka at Diggers 40^th&&  Could be a good reason to get drunk!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, various animals (Dogs, Moose, Shark Breeds, etc) and Raggs!  The Baby is back for 2010 with some razor sharp wit (Well sort of more like a bic disposable thats been used for 3 weeks) and some fun facts that you didnt even know, you needed to know!

 

Where to start?  So much has happened since I last took to the keyboard&  I guess the first thing that springs to mind is the engagements and weddings that are going on.  They say there is a sucker born every minute, I guess we are just filling our part of that quota&.  But why oh why Puppy???  People are beginning to think you are actually straight pal!  The up side to all this madness is getting drunk at stag dos and engagement parties not to mention crashing a few weddings!!!

 

Raggs!  Just when you thought you could put your fold up chair away and get out of the church function room on Tuesday nights, I havent forgotten you and will do my best to give you the same shit but from slightly different angles!  Dont be too down on yourself, there are communities of small funny looking people who are doing just fine leading normal lives.  I saw a documentary on it, I think it was called Lord of the Rings...  Please please be careful mowing lawns in bare feet though, you might shave all that hair off your toes!

 

How about the Fiddlers&&.  I hope they got a pen for the goats before the clubrooms were taken!

 

In all seriousness though, I hope you have all had a great summer and are rearing to go for another season!  Remember to bring some new faces along as the old ones are getting ugly and the more players we have the less field time we all need to subject ourselves to!  Speaking of field time&  Digger, I didnt miss your wee comment on the message board!  Just because you play hooker and love getting drunk doesnt mean you can go around impersonating Norm Hewitts brother and please stop drinking your own urine, youve been on land for 2 weeks!

 

I have also heard a wee rumour that Kylie (formerly known as Sherriff) was making a comeback?  This could be handy as I saw Div 2 Dan in the pub training hard and he is thinking of leaving us for the glory of Div 3&  What happened Kylie, were there no communal showers in Germany? 

 

This is Baby signing off the first of at least 6 Babbles for 10!

 

I like Beer and it likes me because for 2 weeks Ive heard about Smallcock going to AC DC!

 

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarks!

P.S.  Raggs-watch is back!  Are you doing something different with your hair mate?